Kaylee: Simon, the whole point of swearing is that it ain't appropriate.
-Firefly
After looking back at some of the things that have happened and looking ahead to some of the things that will happen this month, I have decided this is no longer merely July. It's "WTF July," in a good way...
First, if you remember from 4th of July, there was what could be called the WTF hot dog. And then there was a WTF sized flag at the Braves game. But that was just the tip of the iceberg. As the WTF phenomenon known as Double Rainbow spread across the internet, I had some solid WTF moments over the weekend. Friday night after work I stopped by a good Atlanta watering hole, The Local, to have a couple of drinks for my friend's birthday. I hadn't been to The Local in quite a while, and since I was last there it has been remodeled a little, and while the changes are for the better, walking in and seeing the layout a bit different made me go "WTF?"
Saturday I went up to my native New Jersey for the weekend to see my family. (Sidenote: I'm having a good run of weekends that start with 4 hours of sleep and involve traveling.) The airport was WTF-tastic. At Hartsfield-Jackson, like many other airports, there are different security lines: one for families, one for first class, one for "expert travelers." Being an expert traveler, I of course use this line, usually with no problems. But not this day, it was filled with amateur travelers. Children should not be allowed in this line. People who don't know to take their belt and shoes off should not be allowed in this line. People who have to think about whether or not they are expert travelers should not be allowed in this line. Yet all these people of course were, WTF. Then my flight to Philadelphia was delayed because the plane was not "catered." WTF. I thought about saying "look, I'm sleeping on this flight, so I don't care if we have food or not." They decided to wait 5 minutes--more like 10--to see if it would come, it didn't. So we were going to leave, except the pilot had gone to see if he could procure some bottled water. WTF. Better yet, he returned empty handed. Even better: despite not being catered, they still had food and drink to serve us. WTF. So we finally took off, landing in rainy Philly. I love Philly, but when the stewardess said "we are beginning our descent into Philadelphia, please put your tray tables in an upright position..." I imagined her saying "please have your batteries, switch blades and crack pipes out and ready for use." Arriving home, my mom showed me her birthday present to herself... a motorcycle. WTF. My dad has had a Harley for 11 years, and while my mom has ridden on it many times and enjoyed it, she never really said much about wanting one of her own, so it was a bit of a surprise to everyone, but a pleasant surprise.
His and her's.
Then it was off to Delaware! WTF, Delaware? you might ask. My oldest friend, JonBoy (even his mother calls him that) returned to the States for good after years of living in Australia, so we had a little get together to welcome him back/welcome him making it through a short tour of Southeast Asia alive. In case you're wondering, no, there were not any shrimp on the barbie or Fosters, and that was a good thing. A good time was had, I was glad to see JonBoy and his family, there were no real WTF moments. There were Star Wars cookies, very nice:
These are the cookies I've been looking for.
Returning home, we decided that on Sunday we would go to the shooting range. It seems that this has become a family tradition when I visit. On Sunday I had quite a coincidence: a friend back in Atlanta emailed me to see if I would like to... go to the shooting range. WTF, that kind of timing is spooky. Of course I agreed, shooting things is fun. So Sunday we went and shot, my brother, who's really good, had a bad day; I did pretty well for myself at 300 yards. So yeah, guns and motorcycles... we're slowly becoming the family from Sons of Anarchy. Now we just need some tats and cool leather vests.
I'm happy just hitting the target.
Back home, we watched the World Cup final. Holland could probably have at least taken it to penalties if not won had notorious diver Arjen Robben dove in the penalty box on a foul that most people legitimately fall on. Go figure, the one time he could dive and everyone would believe him, he keeps his balance and maintains the run (and misses his shot). WTF. He blew another chance when he had the keeper way out of the net and plenty of time to shoot and instead of lobbing it over the keeper, he shot it right at him. WTF. That night we went out to dinner at a place that ran out of some beers and didn't get all of our orders right. WTF.
On Monday the best WTF line of my trip was said: "she's changing, she used to not like beer." She is one of my parent's dogs. WTF. Love those dogs. Looking back, I went from Georgia to the Northeast to have a weekend of guns, booze, motorcycles and bitching about Obamacare. WTF indeed. One last thing, at the Philly airport on the way back, I saw a large metal table and TSA agents in rubber gloves just standing around. That's a little creepy.
There were three of them. Then one of them wondered off, presumably to find someone to shake down.
So it is WTF July. I hope that my upcoming trip to NYC is full of more fun WTF moments, and your July is full of them too.
No comments:
Post a Comment